Honoring National Coming Out Day on October 11, 2022

Honoring National Coming Out Day on October 11, 2022

Kelly Ghweinem, LCSW

      As an out queer person your coming out story may be a pivotal part of your identity journey or it may not. It still is for many in the LGBTQ community because as far as society has come with acceptance, many of us still face discrimination, hate, violence and oppression because of our sexuality and gender. Coming out allows us to live visibly as our authentic selves, moving through the world in a way that aligns with our inner guide. But this is not safe for everyone, especially those with intersectional identities, and why many LGBTQ people chose not to come out. It is your choice to come out or not and whatever that choice is, it is valid.

    I have many coming out stories. Coming out to my friends, family, husband, boyfriend, co-workers, clients, and random people on vacation. It is a misconception that an individual comes out once in their life. It is often something that happens time and time again. Each one of these experiences was different for me, held different emotional weight and led me to discovering different parts of myself. Recently, when I thought everyone in my family knew I was queer, I found out my sister had no idea. To me it was such an obvious part of who I am but to others it wasn’t so obvious because I had always been in hetero presenting relationships. So when I casually mentioned it in my work bio, shared it with my family and was met with “I didn’t know that”, I had unexpectedly sweet moment of connection with my sister. I was reminded that I may not be signaling “IM QUEER” as much as I thought, partially shaved head, combat boots and carabiner be damned. 

    Today, October 11, 2022 is National Coming Out Day. This day of recognition was first celebrated in the United States in 1988 by Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary. Two LGBT activists whose goal was to celebrate coming out and raise awareness of the LGBTQ community while honoring the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. A foundational belief behind the importance of National Coming Out Day is that homophobia thrives in silence and the unknowing that your loved ones are a part of the LGBTQ community. Raising awareness of the visibility of the LGBTQ community is important to dismantling homophobic beliefs, as well as institutional and systematic oppression.  In 1993, Robert Eichberg said “Most people think they don't know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact, everybody does. It is imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.”

    As we go about our daily activities on this beautiful autumn day, lets embody our authentic selves. If you are not out yet, imagine what it would look like for you to live your life as an out person. If you are out, take time to reflect on how your life has changed since being out.

References:

Human Rights Campaign ( June 4, 2020). "History of Coming Out & Themes of NCOD".

Mitchum, Preston (October 11, 2013). "On National Coming Out Day, Don't Disparage

the Closet". The Atlantic.

 “Robert Eichberg, 50, Gay Rights Leader". August 15, 1995. The New York Times.